I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
