I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
