So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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