I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I lost the right to judge tonight
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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