I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
one might say we're banned from that church
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
