It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
