don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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