Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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