Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
