I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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