Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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