Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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