don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
