How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
