if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
