hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
