There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
