fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
