6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
