what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
