Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
