Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
