What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
