ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
