Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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