have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
