two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
