The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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