Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
