i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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