dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
