I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
MIDGETS
????
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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