he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This toilet bowl is my home.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
