I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
