sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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