she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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