everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
