i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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