she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
