And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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