my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
