living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
