so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
