the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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