yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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