At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
