Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
