trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
