So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize