going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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