so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
